Your eyes are closed
selfishly,
obliviously,
as i lie there
crying,
dying.
You sleep righteously,
wrongly,
inconsiderately,
as i lie there
crying,
dying.
You will awaken
refreshed,
excited
leaving me alone as i’m
quietly crying,
slowly dying.
for thinking that guy who plays Harry Potter and the kid that plays the werewolf in the new Twilight movie are kinda hot.
I dreamed that my mom and dad called and said instead of coming to get me, they were just going to move back to Michigan. This made me extremely distraught because first of all, I just don’t handle plan changes well. When I get a plan in my head, it makes me extremely anxious and upset when it gets changed, and moving to TN is an extremely large, important plan. Also, I really feel like I NEED to go to TN. I need to go there because I need to have some space to learn about myself and grow, and I Just don’t feel like I can do that here. So if my parents just moved back to MI, yes, I could still move in with them and carry out my plan as originally intended, but it’s important to me that it happen in TN.
In my dream, I got really mad at my mom and yelled something at her that I can’t remember now, and I wanted to hang up angrily, but I couldn’t slam my phone shut or anything like that because it wasn’t actually shaped like a phone, and I have no idea how it was even working. It was a wrought iron sculpture of a dragon head. It was very simple with very few lines, but absolutely no buttons or anything, so I don’t even know how I was using it as a phone. So I threw it across the room instead and then went from Mary’s bedroom where I received the phone call, to Jennifer’s bedroom to bawl and complain to her about it. She was in bed reading a book, but I guess I woke up because I don’t know what happened after that.
Mom, you better not be moving to MI.
You might also find this other places called “wilted lettuce salad” and they usually ruin it by adding red wine vinegar. This is something I like to make when ever I have someone over for dinner for the first time, because this isn’t something you’d want to have with your dinner regularly, it’s more of a treat:
2 hearts of romaine, torn and rinsed
1 lb. bacon, chopped and fried crispy (reserve the grease)
1 bunch of green onions, rinsed and chopped
Combine the lettuce and onions. Pour the bacon and hot bacon grease over the lettuce and stir well to combine. The grease needs to be hot enough to slightly wilt the lettuce. A little salt might be necessary, but I usually let people just put it on if they want it. Eat, and become addicted.
Tags: sides
Mary: My boobs are hot!
Me: Stand in front of the fan.
Mary: It’s because my shirt just came out of the dryer, it’s got that built-in bra thing.
Me: Stand in front of the fan!
Mary: *sticks her tongue out at me*
Me: Hey, I have a lot of experience with hot boobs.
Mary: *laughs at me*
Some Random Guy from myspayce: you look pretty sexy and a freak in the sheets no doubt. my name is mike how ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
Me: As a fellow man, I can appreciate it when a guy is comfortable enough in his own sexuality to send compliments like that. Thanks!
Within the last week I’ve had two dreams about girls bitching out on my unnecessarily:
The first one took place in what used to be a Clark station in Battle Creek on the corner of Goguac and Capital. I was waiting in line and she and her boyfriend were already being waited on in front of me, only they were friends with the cashier so they were taking a long time and being really chatty. It was a little annoying because I just wanted to pay and leave, and they were dicking around and taking forever, but after a couple minutes I kind of got over it and started messing with my phone, but I sighed. Not a loud, “OMG hurry up!” sigh, just a quick bored sigh. The girl, who had longish, stringy blonde hair and bangs turned around and got all pissy at me, talking about how they’ll take as long as they want and I need to step off and other ghetto stuff like that. I was like, “Whoa lady, calm down. I didn’t even say anything.” Later she found me on myspace and sent me a messege that was pretty similar to what she’d said to me in the gas station, about how I need to watch myself because I don’t know who I’m fucking with and stuff like that.
The second one was last night. I was at a party that was actually a wake. I can’t remember who died, though. But I think I was there with my friend Justin, and we were talking to this girl who looked like she might be Mexican. She had long black, permed hair, a round face, and was a tiny bit chubby. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but it had something to do with the number 1. Like something being only $1, or something happening at 1:00 or something being one mile away. She was kind of arguing with us, but it was more like friendly banter. Then I said, “Man, we’re drunk [referring to Justin and myself], and when we’re drunk, we’re pretty beligerant and obnoxious. You might as well give up.” It was in a joking manner, but she bitched out on me. She started going on about how I don’t know her and she doesn’t give up and I need to watch what I say to people I don’t know and stuff like that. I told her, “I was totally kidding. You’re really getting mad for no reason.” She got up and stomped off.
Weird.
Today, at (I think) 10:06 AM, I turned a quarter of a century old! I’m no longer in my early twenties, I’m in my mid-twenties. It’s going ok so far, being so old. I feel like I have a lot of advice to offer the youngins now that I’ve been around so long. Things like, never ever EVER drink the entire fifth of rum to yourself. And cold pizza is an acceptable breakfast food, but only if it’s been in the fridge, not on the kitchen counter all night. Always drink LOTS of water before you go to bed if you’ve been drinking, and take a B vitamin if you have one, along with a couple of aspirin. You should also know that coffee, beer, and wine are all things that have an acquired taste. I haven’t personally acquired a taste for beer yet, but that’s ok, because my wine taste buds have grown in.
Kinda looks like I’ve spent most of my time figuring out how to get drunk properly. Well, whatever I can do to help!
Speaking of getting drunk, on to how I’ve been celebrating my birthday!
Last night I was invited at the last minute to go out with Jennifer and her friend Chris to a bar, where Chris was performing.
Chris and Russ rocking out
They were totally awesome. I learned that I might like The Cure when they played a cover of “Lullaby.” They also had this really great instrumental ballad that was amazing. Chris is a wonderful singer! And guitarist. And bill-picker-upper. ;) I can’t remember the name of the band that went after them, but they were also cool. I liked the lead singer. He was this cute geeky-looking guy who had awesome guitar solos. After them was C.O.R.E. They were OMG AWESOME. Loud and bass-y and scream-y and just fucking great. I loved it! Chris was nice enough to drive us home at 3:30 in the morning, despite being so tired. Thanks, Chris! My bed was way more comfy than your floor. :P
Jennifer and me being cute at the bar
I only ended up getting about four hours of drunk sleep. Oh, another tip for the youngins: Drunk sleep does not count as sleep. It is nearly the equivalent of staying awake for 24 hours straight, and the less of it you get, the worse it is the next day. Anyway, Jennifer woke me up because her makeup had smeared while she slept and it looked like she’d been in a bar fight and gotten two black eyes. You can see in the pic that I did her makeup purple and black. Now imagine that smeared in nearly perfect circles all the way around her eyes. It was pretty amusing. She made me a cup of coffee with some delicious creamer that might have been vanilla, but I can’t remember, and then I spent most of the day doing nothing on the computer and napping. Carolyn showed up around 3 because she and I and Jennifer were going to Finley’s so I could get my free birthday dinner.
It's a birthday balloon!
Carolyn found me a balloon and then Jennifer tied it to my wrist so I wouldn’t lose it. The thought is making me giggle, because I’m A QUARTER OF A CENTURY OLD and she tied my balloon to me. lol! I had a delicious steak with Caesar salad and Montana ranch fries. See that necklace I’m wearing in that pic? Here, I have a better pic of it:
Birthday necklace!
Carolyn fucking MADE that for me! It’s made of aventurine, which she put on there for calmness, and it’s also got topaz, and that big beautiful stone in the center is a dragon lace agate. I love it! Thanks Carolyn! *hugs*
Carolyn, me, and Jennifer
My friends Curt and Shelley brought their pretty baby Yuki over and I made them dinner, despite having already eaten. It was my own fault for double booking like that, when I invited them over around a week ago I FORGOT MY OWN BIRTHDAY and planned on having them over today. I think they might have thought I was a weirdo for having them over and cooking for them after I’d had my own dinner, but hey, if I’m offered a free steak, I’m takin’ it. It was nice to have them over, I don’t get to see them much and they’re really great.
Oh! I almost forgot to mention this:
(6/20/2009 2:17:18 PM) Jared: Happy Birthday! 
(3:37:24 PM) Me: Thanks!
(3:37:35 PM) Jared: Weee!
(3:37:38 PM) Jared:
(3:37:45 PM) Me: lol
(3:37:53 PM) Me: carolyn made me a necklace!
(3:37:59 PM) Jared: w00t!
(3:39:02 PM) Jared: I chipped in a small thing for your bday present that is primarily coming from Severin. I didn’t contribute much but I think you’ll like it. 
(3:40:22 PM) Me: awww!
(3:40:22 PM) Me: thanks!
(3:40:26 PM) Me: he won’t tell me what it is
(3:40:29 PM) Me: because he’s a buttface
(3:40:29 PM) Me: lol
(3:40:31 PM) Jared: lol
(3:40:59 PM) Jared: It’s awesome. I promise.
(3:42:28 PM) Me: it better be, you don’t want me to shake my fist at you in disappointment
(3:42:41 PM) Jared: Oh I’m sure you wont!
(3:42:45 PM) Jared:
(3:43:58 PM) Jared: I mean, what girl wouldn’t want a double headed dildo made from a combined mold of Severin’s and my penis’?
(3:44:08 PM) Jared: lol
(3:44:16 PM) Jared: And I’m joking btw.
(3:44:25 PM) Me: OMG I WANT THAT
(3:44:29 PM) Jared: loooooool
(3:45:18 PM) Me: i totally have to post this conversation on my blog you know
The surprise was actually an ecig, which is great because I’ve wanted one for quite a while. They got me a black one, which makes me happy. :) <–(me being happy)
All in all, I had a wonderful birthday. I got so many birthday wishes from all of my friends and family. My mom called to wish me a happy birthday, and the conversation was amusing:
Me: Hi Mommy!
Mom: Hi!
Me: Did you call to wish me a happy birthday?
Mom: Of course!
Me: Good, because you didn’t last year.
Mom: You don’t hold grudges at all, do you?
Me: No way, I’m not bitter!
Mom: Well at least you don’t blame all of your therapy on me.
Me: Nope, you’re right, I actually blame most of it on Severin!
Then she asked me if I was drunk because I was in such a good mood. Thanks, Mom. I must be pretty bitchy most of the time, because Severin has done that to me too. “Why are you in such a good mood? Are you drunk?” lol
I just want to say thanks to everybody who made my day. Every one of you that posted a birthday wish in twitter and called or sent me an IM really made my day. I’m so lucky to be surrounded by such awesome people! <3
17
Jun
dreaming about drunk driving and mistaken identity
I was working at Meijer as an assistant. Not an assistant manager, but an assistant TO the manager. I had just quit, and on my way out I told her, “Thanks for being such an awesome manager, but I will never work in this horrible place again.” Then I walked off.
I walked outside (it was winter), where Chris and Jennifer were waiting to pick me up. Chris was extremely drunk, and he was the one driving. He had his seat completely reclined because he was so drunk he didn’t even want to sit up. Jennifer and I were trying to get him to sit up and drive properly, but we weren’t concerned about crashing or anything, just that he was doing a bad job of driving, because, well, he was lying down to do it.
Needless to say, we got pulled over and taken “downtown.” The three of us were sitting there in a room, when the officer, who happened to be my grandmother, came in and said to Chris and Jennifer, “You too aren’t lookin’ too hot. We know you’re not who you say you are.” She then whipped out three pages that had pictures printed on them, of people who were supposedly the “real” Chris and Jennifer. The first one was of her own mother, sitting on her husband’s (my grandfather) lap. There wasn’t anything vulgar about it, they were just kind of hanging out. I was relieved because I knew exactly who those people were, so I said, “That’s not Chris and Jennifer. That woman’s name is Edith and the man’s name is Gary. How can you not know that?” She then showed us the next picture, which was taken a LONG time ago, probably in the 40’s, of a cabin-like house with a woman standing in front of it that was my great-grandmother, Gary’s mother. I said, “Do you have any idea when that picture was taken? Nana, you know that’s not Jennifer. That’s Gladys, Papaw’s mom. What the heck is wrong with you? These are pictures of our family, you’ve seen these pictures before!”
There was a third one that she was about to show us, but I don’t remember what it was because just then Bethany said, “Mommy, are you talking in your sleep?” I woke up and said, “I guess I was. What did I say?” But she didn’t know because it was too mumbly.
Today while I was out, I got behind a van that had a license plate that said, IM A VAN. It made me giggle. Then I ended up in front of him, and when we got to a stop light I saw him in my rearview mirror taking a picture with his cell phone of my license plate, which says ROFLCAR. lol
